Saturday, November 23, 2002

I was "saved" in the spring of 1980 when I was twelve years old; some sincere words of prayer asking God for forgiveness and that He would come exist in my heart supposedly did the trick. A few weeks later I was baptized with water (full imersion, of course) in the standard Southern Baptist ritual of Christian welcome. I officially came down the aisle to the front of the church sanctuary and publicly professed my Christianity and joined the church the next Sunday morning. I was heartily and happily accepted by smiling church members.

In addition to profoundly affecting my thoughts and direction for years to come (even now, as a zealous non-believer, I still have to deal with the existence of Christian fundamentalism as a major American philosophy and political force) several events seemed to be tied in my mind to my Christian conversion. My father, an extremely "backslidden" Christian, was deeply moved on an emotional and spiritual level by seeing my baptism and dedicated himself to fundamentalism as a major focus in his life. My entire family also ultimately shifted to the Christian right-wing. Meanwhile, Baptist conservatives (aka Christian right wing fundamentalists) were stepping up their attempts to take over the Southern Baptist Convention, attempts which eventually succeeded in the mid 1980's. Probably one of the biggest events that I tie to my Christian conversion is the 1980 election of Ronald Reagan to the American presidency by a pro-business/Christian-conservative constituancy.

Then the whole damned country started slowly lumbering toward bizarro conservatism both economically and socially.

In 1994, a close friend made me see how after some years in college with liberal artist types and students my point of view was no longer recognizably Christian. I was holding onto my Christian label because I considered it to be a huge part of my identity. Sadly, I had no choice but to admit the truth and renounce my Christian label. I said "goodbye" to a community, fucked up as it was, of people that I felt were my people, people that loved me and saw the universe in, more or less, the same way that I did.

I turned to the left; the USA kept inexoribly moving to the right (this was the same year that Newt Gingrich led the so called Republican revolution as the GOP took the House for the first time in decades).

Now I understand that spiritual views are very personal and subjective and I don't want to needlessly offend anyone. The urge to understand the world, the universe, the urge to embrace justice and righteousness are primal and deeply seated in the human mind and the human heart. I, of course, recognize these urges within myself. So I respect most peoples' personal views and feelings regarding their own spiritual (or even secular) quests.

But Christian fundamentalists do not. In fact, Christian fundamentalists have very little to do with spirituality or the quest for understanding--they seek to force their will on all humanity. They seek to control despite what their holy book mandates again and again. I know because I used to be one of them. Fundamentalists are a serious threat to the freedom that we hold dear as Americans, as humans--this is NOT a Christian nation, a Christian world, nor should it be.

So I have a fundamentalist family. We live in a fundamentalist country. I embraced fundamentalism as a youth when the whole party was just starting. (I also teach in an extremely fundamentalist community.)

So you see, this is quite personal for me.

That's why in the weeks to come, I'm going to unload a few rhetorical wallops against fundamentalism. Be on the lookout.