INCA ROADS

My previous post about the possible Inca system of binary style writing brought back some childhood memories. In the 1970s, before the concepts were swallowed up by the all-inclusive "new age" movement, para-normal events and activities were all the rage: the Bermuda Triangle, UFOs, psychic phenomena, the Yeti, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and, of course, alien influence on ancient civilazations such as Atlantis, Egypt, the Mayans, and the Incas. God, how I loved Leonard Nimoy's "In Search Of," which, I believe, once did a pretty cool episode on the Inca civilization. The speculation about alien involvement with the Incas is the same kind that you get when UFOlogists ponder Egypt: how did this ancient people accomplish all these great feats? In addition to the Incas' extraordinary system of roads and their advanced mathematics, this binary style alphabet will only add fuel to the X-Files fan fire.

Of course, even though I love it, such speculation is entirely bullshit. The ancients were able to accomplish great things because they were smart--the Greeks, for instance, managed to figure out that the world was round long before Columbus, and calculated the circumference of the Earth within a margin of error that was less than 10%. Furthermore, while I believe that there is probably extraterrestrial life that is more technologically advanced than humankind, why the hell would they want to come here, kidnap people, and examine their genitals? It makes no sense...

Perhaps that's why Frank Zappa, always the rationalist, wrote this satirical song in the mid 70s:

Inca Roads

(from the album One Size Fits All)

Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was it round
And did it have
A motor
Or was it
Something
Different
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Did a vehicle
Fly along the mountains
And find a place to park itself
Or did someone
Build a place
To leave a space
For such a vehicle to land
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did a vehicle
Come from somewhere out there
Did the indians, first on the bill
Carve up the hill
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Just to land in the Andes?
Was she round
And did she have a motor
Or was she something different
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
Guacamole Queen
At the Armadillo in Austin Texas, her aura,
Or did someone build a place
Or leave a space for Chester's Thing to land
(Chester's Thing... on Ruth)
Did a booger-beer
Come from somewhere out there
Did a booger-bear
Come from somewhere out there
Did the Indians, first on the bill
Carve up her hill
On Ruth
On Ruth
That's Ruth

(A couple of lyrical references: 1. The Armadillo was a live music venue for many years, a kind of Fillmore of the southwest--Zappa, and many other legendary musicians, played there numerous times. 2. "Chester's Thing" has got to be a reference to the fantastic drummer who plays on the song, Chester Thompson.)

Here is The Ed Palermo Big Band's pretty darned good rendition of "Inca Roads" for your listening pleasure.

Enjoy.

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