Saturday, August 30, 2003

TWENTY FIRST CENTURY SKANK
Madonna and Britney's Lesbo Liplock


Anybody who was reading Real Art regularly back in May knows that I've been disillusioned with Madonna for many years now--in fact, I posted two statements to that effect, here and here. Time for a third.

I'm not quite sure where the line is drawn between eroticism and trashiness. I am sure, however, that the Gap's latest sales whore crossed that line over a decade ago. Indeed, the blonde bombshell of the 1980s clearly abandoned her initially innovative style of sexiness in order to embrace a nouveau brand of corporate skank around the time of the release of her flaccid crap-book, Sex, in the early 1990s. Pushing the envelope is one thing: spreading your legs and calling it art, however, is entirely another.

Sadly, Madonna is perceived somehow as a pop culture genius. Her incessant public genitalia-handling and other boring forays into exhibitionism-as-creativity paved the way for the current crop of talentless pop-singer-cum-porn-stars. Enter Britney and Christina. Does anybody even know what their music sounds like? I've seen a billion pictures of those two in various stages of undress, but I can't say that I can remember a single one of their songs. I'm probably better off that way.

I'm really glad that I haven't watched the Video Music Awards since I was in high school--I fear that seeing Madonna and Britney's skanky kiss might have forever turned off my inner twelve-year-old's lust for hot bi babes.

However, I did read a great review by somebody who did see Thursday's televised descent into base trailer park prurience. Here is an excerpt from the Chicago Sun-Times' pop music critic Jim DeRogatis' account of the VMAs:

You know that an awards show is in serious trouble when the most emotional moment of the night is when Kelly Osbourne and Avril Lavigne give a surprise achievement award to reunited '80s fluff-popsters Duran Duran, and when the big attempt at controversy comes from Madonna slipping Britney Spears the tongue.

Is there anyone with whom Madonna hasn't sucked face? And as for Britney, given her dirty dancing with a live python a few years back, making out with Madonna seems like a step backwards.


Heh. Indeed.

The rest of the review is just as mean, and rightfully so, I'm sure. Go read it. Click here.

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