REAL ART TRAVELS
A Few Words About Auditions

In the theater there are three kinds of auditions. First, and most disgusting, is the “cattle call.” The “cattle call” is most often used for professional work, usually when a play is already cast, in order to satisfy contract requirements with Actors’ Equity (a major actors’ labor union). This kind of audition consists of simply herding a large group of actors onto a stage and taking a look at them. Those who have the right look, whatever that is, are called back later for another audition—almost always, this next level is a “cold reading.”

The “cold reading,” probably the most fair, and the kind of audition I like the most, is simply running through a scene with script in hand. The “cold” part refers to the fact that, generally, one uses a script that he’s never seen before.

The third kind of audition is the prepared monologue: the actor chooses an extended piece of text from a play (typically, it’s simply a very long line) which he then performs as if he were on stage with other actors, even though he is actually alone. This one drives me crazy, because, while it is a kind of acting, it’s not really acting. That is, the best inspiration for great acting is other actors: as John Wayne once said, “I don’t act; I react.” Never mind the fact that the Duke was quite a bad actor; he really nailed a good truism about acting—it’s not really a scene unless you have human beings interacting together in the same space. The prepared monologue, then, is something of a bastardization of acting. You’re out there all alone, with only yourself and your imagination for inspiration. It is, needless to say, very difficult to create believable stage relationships with imaginary people.

Granted, I understand that determining who gets the part is not an easy task, especially when casting directors are looking at buttloads of actors. So the “cattle call” and the prepared monologue auditions serve as a useful short-cut for weeding out undesirables. Useful, but inherently unfair.

Anyway, my point is not to rail away against the mounds of bullshit with which actors must contend, although if you encourage me enough, I will rail away. Rather, my point is to give some important background information for understanding how my auditions for graduate acting school went.

Coming Soon: my audition in San Francisco.

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