John Cleese's "Notice of Revocation of Independence"

I have no idea where this was originally published. The rather brilliant head of the MFA acting program at LSU, John Dennis, who unfortunately for me is on sabbatical this semester, sent it to me as an email a couple of days ago. I found it online at a website called the English Teachers' Network. Anyway, check out the intro:

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP, for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.

Click here for the rest.

And the sixteen rules for America-as-British-Commonwealth are as funny as you might expect them to be given Cleese's former Monty Pythoner status. The really funny thing is that this might not be such a bad idea. I mean, the first sentence, which essentially gives the philosophical justification for revoking the Declaration of Independence, is pretty hard to argue with. Maybe we should let the Brits take over. I don't see how it can be any worse than what we have now, and the TV shows are bound to improve. Maybe I should write my Congressman about this or something.

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