"HAPPY CHRISTMAS (WAR IS OVER)"

Well, Becky and I are headed to Houston to reunite with our respective families, throw some gifts around, eat some Xmas yummies, and all that anti-humbug stuff. Consequently, Real Art is going dark until probably Tuesday. Until then, enjoy this Yuletide grab bag.

First, from Adrants courtesy of my old pal from high school and college, Matt, an amusing video satirizing the liberals' WAR ON CHRISTMAS:

Agency Christmas Card Declares
War on Anti-Christmas Movement



Taunting those who have a politically correct stick up their ass, NightAgency has offered the industry a Christmas card we, well at least Christmas lovers, can all take joy in as the card skewers every group out there calling attention to the notion Christmas isn't for everyone. Before the Comment section explodes, remember, it's called satire.

Click here for a link to the video.

You know, I don't remember if I've addressed this whole anti-Christmas thing going on over at Fox News, so if I'm repeating myself, forgive me. I'm extraordinarily liberal, and I love Christmas. Even as a non-Christian, I still think that Jesus is a seminal figure as far as Western Civilization goes, and I generally embrace his values of forgiveness and love. What's not to celebrate? Furthermore, I know lots of liberals, from New York to Los Angeles, and I don't know a single one of them who has some sort of politically correct issue with the holiday. Really, the only thing I've ever encountered that comes even close is an SNL skit from the early 90s that skewered a p.c. "Holiday party" of various lesbian stereotypes--it was pretty funny, too; Glenn Close was the guest host, which, I guess, makes sense. In short, this whole "war on Christmas" thing is a total fabrication. A lie. Liberals like Christmas, too, and Bill O'Reilly has clearly run out more substantial issues to rant and rave about.

Anyway, onto the next feature.

From retroCRUSH:

RETRO CHRISTMAS PIX

There's just something about goofy Christmas pictures from yesteryear that make the holiday season special. Whether its a half drunk Santa with his beard hanging crooked, or a kid screaming as if he's sitting on the lap of The Devil himself, charm abounds.

Click here for the pics.

They're pretty darned funny. Go check it out.



Also from retroCrush:

BATTLE OF THE MISER BROS.




I'm a big time fan of the great puppet animation Christmas specials by Rankin and Bass. From "Santa Claus is Coming To Town" to "Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer" they've never failed to please. My favorite, though, without a doubt, is 1974's "A Year Without A Santa Claus". Mickey Rooney returns as Santa and Shirley Booth (TV's "Hazel") does a fantastic job as Mrs. Claus, but it's the incredible (and all too brief) appearances by Snow Miser and Heat Miser that make the special an all time classic!

The two brothers just don't get along. Just like Pat Benatar said in her song, "Fire and Ice"... "you come on like a flame, but you turn a cold shoulder!" I don't know why I quoted that, but it makes it look like I know what I'm talking about if you're just skimming this for the pictures.

But who's really the better of the two Miser Brothers? Is it "Mister 101" or "Mister 10 Below"?

Click here for the rest.

Just for the record, I support Snow Miser. It's no contest, really, when you get right down to it. Snow Miser, with his jovial Fred Astaire-like aura of classiness, beats the grumpy, dumpy cross between Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger known as Heat Miser any day of the week. Who could ever dig Heat Miser more than his fun-loving brother? I'll tell you: someone with no heart, that's who!

Next, just to sober us up a bit in case we've imbibed a bit too much, or spent too much on gifts as the case may be, is this report from PBS's Frontline documentary series:

SECRET HISTORY OF THE CREDIT CARD

It's one of the most wonderful times of the year for the banking industry's most lucrative business: credit cards. In the coming weeks, millions of Americans will reach into their wallets and use plastic to buy an estimated $100 billion in holiday gifts. But at what cost?

In "Secret History of the Credit Card," FRONTLINE® and The New York Times join forces to investigate an industry few Americans fully understand. In this one-hour report, correspondent Lowell Bergman uncovers the techniques used by the industry to earn record profits and get consumers to take on more debt.

And

The industry's most profitable customers, the ones being sought by creative marketing tactics, are the "revolvers:" the estimated 115 million Americans who carry monthly credit card debt.

Ed Yingling, incoming president of the American Bankers Association, tells FRONTLINE that revolvers are "the sweet spot" of the banking industry. This "sweet spot" continues to grow as the average credit card debt among American households has more than doubled over the past decade. Today, the average family owes roughly $8,000 on their credit cards. This debt has helped generate record profits for the credit card industry -- last year, more than $30 billion before taxes.

Click here to read the rest of the introduction essay, and here to watch the entire show on streaming video.

I've managed to make it this far without using a credit card, and I hope I'll die without ever giving those filthy loan sharks my money. I've seen plastic fuck up numerous people over the years. At the same time, I've watched helplessly as the banking industry uses the Congressmen they own to rewrite the law so as to make their predatory practices legal--the bankruptcy law they recently passed is but one example. Do yourself a big favor and just say "no" to credit cards.

Finally, continuing a tradition I started last year, I give you the lyrics to, and a link to a cool cover version of John Lennon and Yoko Ono's wonderful ode to both Christmas and peace.

Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

(Happy christmas, kyoko.
Happy christmas, julian.)

So this is christmas and what have you done?
Another year over, a new one just begun.

And so this is christmas, i hope you have fun,
The near and the dear one, the old and the young.

A very merry christmas and a happy new year,
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.

And so this is christmas for weak and for strong,
(war is over if you want it,)
For the rich and the poor ones, the road is so long.
(war is over now.)

And so happy christmas for black and for whites,
(war is over if you want it,)
For the yellow and red ones, let's stop all the fight.
(war is over now.)

A very merry christmas and a happy new year,
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.

And so this is christmas and what have we done?
(war is over if you want it,)
Another year over, a new one just begun.
(war is over now.)

And so this is christmas, we hope you have fun,
(war is over if you want it,)
The near and the dear one, the old and the young.
(war is over now.)

A very merry christmas and a happy new year,
Let's hope it's a good one without any fear.

War is over
If you want it,
War is over now.

Happy christmas!

God bless us! God bless us, everyone!

Well, that just about does it for this year. Merry Christmas to all, and lots of other holiday clichés.

(Cover version of Happy Christmas courtesy of the Cranes.)

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