CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR GRADUATION
Now what are you going to do for the rest of your life?

I posted what follows last year at around this time. But I'm still impressed with myself for my masterwork of plagiarism, and it is graduation season, after all. Maybe I'll make this an annual thing. Until prospects for American life improve greatly, that is.

Here's a little graduation music to set a mood (start it when you begin the speech).

SMITH'S COMMENCEMENT ADDRESS

In my movement class this past semester we've been working on a process of character creation through the use of various physicalization exercises while wearing a mask. The work is taken from Libby Appel's book Mask Characterization. The final exercise, which we're doing Wednesday, is called "Finding the Right Words;" the idea is to take the actor-created character from the world of improvisation into the world of text--that is, it's about finding ways to make the character useable in an actual play. From Appel's book:

From published material in any form other than dramatic literature (poetry, essays, biography, letters, fiction, nonfiction, ect.), put together a monologue which your character will speak in a five-to-seven-minute situation that has a beginning, a middle, and end. The monologue must seem as if it is the character's own words and thoughts.

My character, Smith, is something of an embodiment of existentialism: he's absurd, bored, sad, and desperately wanting amusement because he feels that's all that's left for him. In collecting material for his monologue, I wanted to somehow reflect the absurdist but morbidly depressed sense of bipolarity inherent within him. When putting it all together, it seemed like a graduation speech--probably because it's that time of year and I'm once again in college. I was so pleased with what I came up with, I thought I'd post it here. I mean, my blog is called "Real Art," after all.

I'm not going to tell you exactly what bits come from where (because that'd be a big hassle), but I will tell you that the speech rips off John F. Kennedy, Oscar Wilde, John Lennon, Andy Warhol, Dr. Seuss, the Bible, Noam Chomsky, Bertrand Russell, T. S. Elliot, Nietzsche, and Jim Morrison.

So here it is. Smith's Commencement Address:

President Griswold, members of the faculty, graduates and their families, ladies and gentlemen:

Let me begin by expressing my appreciation for the very deep honor which you have conferred upon me. As General de Gaulle occasionally acknowledges America to be the daughter of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard. It might be said now that I have the best of both worlds, a Harvard education and a Yale degree.

To be popular one must be a mediocrity.

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done. Nothing you can sing that can't be sung. Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game. It's easy. There's nothing you can make that can't be made. No one you can save that can't be saved. Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time. It's easy. There's nothing you can know that isn't known. Nothing you can see that isn't shown. Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be. It would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger.

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.

Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away! You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the ones who'll decide where to go. Life is too important to be taken seriously.

All you need is love.

From the book of Matthew:

"Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

But question authority. Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion. Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious. Take, say, the core of the established religions today: the Bible. It is basically polytheistic, with the warrior God demanding of his chosen people that they not worship the other Gods and destroy those who do -- in an extremely brutal way, in fact. It would be hard to find a more genocidal text in the literary canon, or a more violent and destructive character than the God who was to be worshipped.

Religion is based, I think, primarily and mainly upon fear. It is partly the terror of the unknown and partly, as I have said, the wish to feel that you have a kind of elder brother who will stand by you in all your troubles and disputes. Fear is the basis of the whole thing -- fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. It is because fear is at the basis of those two things.

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible. And so I am a deeply superficial person.

From the book of Ecclesiastes:

"The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun. Is there any thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new? It hath been already of old time, which was before us. There is no remembrance of former things; neither shall there be any remembrance of things that are to come with those that shall come after. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of spirit."

I have known them all already, known them all, have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons; I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, and I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, and in short, I was afraid. I have dared disturb the universe. I have prayed to God, but God is dead. I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

This is the end. My only friend, the end, of our elaborate plans, the end, of everything that stands, the end, no safety or surprise, the end. I'll never look into your eyes...again. The end of laughter and soft lies. The end of nights we tried to die.

This is the end.

I hope I get a good grade when I perform this.

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