STAR TREK
A Private Little War

From Wikipedia:

"A Private Little War" is a second-season episode of Star Trek: The Original Series, first broadcast February 2, 1968 and repeated on August 23, 1968. It is episode #48, production #45, with the screenplay written by Gene Roddenberry, based on a story by Jud Crucis, and directed by Marc Daniels.

Overview: The crew of the Enterprise discovers Klingon interference in the development of a formerly peaceful planet and joins them in what becomes an arms race.

More here.

Lamely executed lame story pushing a lame philosophy. But it is pretty funny.

"A Private Little War" was produced at the height of the Vietnam War: this is apparently Star Trek's endorsement of what may have been one of the worst foreign policy failures in US history. Always nice to be on the wrong side of history, I guess, but given the way things turned out for us over in Southeast Asia, it's kind of difficult to get on board with the point of view Roddenberry's pushing here.

The setting for this one is a pre-industrial planet of pacifists, a sort of analogy to the third world nations used like so many chess pieces by the United States and the Soviet Union during the 60s. The Klingons, or should I say the Soviets, are secretly arming the planet's urbanites, urging them to make war on their rural nomadic counterparts, using the promise of power to break their taboo against violence--the clandestine nature of the Klingons' activities is because both they and the Federation are treaty bound to not directly interfere with planets in this particular sector. Kirk, or should I say President Johnson, will have none of this, and finally decides, after much agonizing over the Federation's non-interference Prime Directive, that the best course of action is to emulate the Klingon approach, arming the rural nomads in order to fight their city cousins.

Ordinarily, I would greatly enjoy the politics here. But it is impossible, at this point, to forget that such diplomatic philosophy failed us utterly in the real world, killing millions by the Cold War's end. That is, as a piece of patriotic propaganda, "A Private Little War" is sad at best, and sick and twisted at worst. Anybody who knows history simply can't get behind the story.

On the other hand, the infamous Nazi propaganda film Triumph of the Will is engaging and interesting, in spite of, you know, all the pro-Nazi shit. "A Private Little War" had the opportunity, at least, to make for some interesting Trek. Unfortunately, it is poorly executed, in many ways as bad as "The Apple."

For starters, a creature called a mugato figures prominently for several plot points. That's all fine and dandy, of course, except for the fact that this is one of the funniest aliens in all of Star Trek, not much more than a guy in a bleached white gorilla suit with pointed horns glued onto his back, running around menacingly, screeching and growling.

Ironically, for this episode, screeching and growling isn't such bad acting. The two main guest characters, country dweller and Kirk's old friend Tyree, and his wife, the Kahn-ut-tu, or witch woman, Nona, are just awful. Tyree is as boring as dishwater, and Nona, while being one of the hotter babes of the second season, goes after it like a high school sophomore in a one act play contest. That is, she's laughably bad. And this stuff is funny. The scene where she uses her mystical knowledge to sexually enthrall her husband moves into Fantasy Island or Love Boat territory.

But Tyree and Nona aren't the only awful guest characters. The Klingon comes off like a History Channel narrator, while the leader of the villagers with whom he deals, Apella, also boring, looks like a cross between Edward James Olmos and Carlos Santana, and not in a good way.

But special scorn should be heaped on Kirk for this episode. In addition to just looking stupid for seriously embracing failed twentieth century diplomatic philosophy, Kirk is played badly. I mean, Shatner is at his least honest as an actor here, inauthenticity oozing from his pores. He's laugh-out-loud funny when poisoned by the mugato. He's as romantically awkward as ever when Nona turns her sex magic on him. And his longstanding friendship with Tyree is so fake, he might as well be a sorority girl figuring out how to get rid of the fat chick who shows up for rush. Classic bad Shatner.

Put him together with both Tyree and Nona, however, and we hit the trifecta. The healing ceremony, utterly hilarious, is just the warmup. The rape scene, seemingly drawn directly from Reefer Madness, is the main attraction. I mean, you know, it's not a bad fight, but Tyree's bloodlust is just funny. Actually, it's all funny.

On the other hand, there are a few good elements in "A Private Little War," and they deserve mention. First and foremost is the unexplained appearance of Doctor M'Benga, a member of Doctor McCoy's staff who we've never seen for what is at this point nearly two years of the show's run, apparently, or perhaps a visiting physician. Whatever. His inclusion is welcome. Especially because he's an expert in Vulcan biology. There's a nice moment reminding us that Nurse Chapel is still in love with Spock. Doctor McCoy shoots his phaser at some cave rocks, which is always fun to see, in order to warm the poisoned Kirk. Scotty's always good when he runs the bridge.

In the end, however, the good stuff is strongly overshadowed by all the bad. In short, "A Private Little War" sucks. But like I said, it is pretty funny; perhaps that's the attitude with which you should watch it.


Look at me! I'm acting!

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