Rod Stewart Dispels Gay Stomach Pump Rumors On 'Katie'

From the Huffington Post:

During an appearance on "Katie," Stewart told host Katie Couric that he is "as heterosexual as they come," in response to a question about a rumor the rock legend once had to have his stomach pumped after a wild night with sailors in San Diego, Greg in Hollywood and The Advocate are reporting. 

According to Stewart, the myth was actually the work of a vengeful representative: "I used to have this guy work for me, he was a gay publicist. He’s dead now so he might be watching. I had to fire him because he did something terrible, which I won’t go into."

More here, with video!

Well, this clears up a thirty year mystery.  And throws a little cold water on the most salacious rumor I ever believed.

Here's what I heard back in the spring of 1979 when I was in fifth grade, the age the South Park kids have been for the last few years.  A female friend was crying one day and I asked a mutual male friend what the deal was.  "She's crying because Rod Stewart," who was at that point one of the biggest pop stars on the charts, "had to go to the hospital to have twenty three ounces of semen removed from his stomach."

I was, like, "What?!?"

"Yeah," he said, "apparently, in order to be in his band, you have to let him suck your cock, and it seems like he got carried away."

"Well, okay, but what does that have to do with her?"

"She's his illegitimate daughter," he told me.

"Oh.  Really weird."  

Of course, the entire story was and continues to be preposterous.  But my friend was crying, and another friend told me this story.  And I believed it for a while--gimme a break; I was eleven years old.  Of course, after a year or two, I ruled out the illegitimate daughter angle simply because everybody else seemed to know the story.  It was clear that I had my leg well pulled.  But the "Rod Stewart swallowed so much semen that he ended up in the hospital" story stayed with me for a while.  I'm not quite sure when I decided that it had to be bullshit, but by the time I saw the above linked article, I'm sure it had been many years.  I mean, who gets semen pumped out of their stomach?  Since when has semen ingesting become life-threatening?  Yeah, total bullshit.

But it is nice that the creepy virgin-fucker finally weighed in on the story.  Three decades later.

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