HOLY DOUCHE BAG, BATMAN!

From HuffPo:

Ben Affleck Cast As Batman In 'Man Of Steel' Sequel

“We knew we needed an extraordinary actor to take on one of DC Comics' most enduringly popular Super Heroes (sic), and Ben Affleck certainly fits that bill, and then some," Greg Silverman, president of creative development and worldwide production for Warner Bros., said in a statement posted to the Warner Bros. Facebook page. "His outstanding career is a testament to his talent and we know he and Zack will bring new dimension to the duality of this character."

More here.

No, Ben's not going to surprise us with his most brilliant effort ever.

While I've liked Affleck in some roles over the years, the bottom line for me is that he is simply incapable of playing Batman. The role just isn't in his range. I mean, okay, if it's going to be a comedy, sure, maybe. But then, for that matter, they might as well have cast Adam West. Go get the real deal, you know?

I'll be more specific. Ben Affleck has been at his best over the years portraying douches who are douches because of some unseen hurt within. And he's really good at it. I mean, you've got to give him a lot of credit for making a douche appealing again and again. My suspicion is that this is his true nature, wounded douche, and it just can't help but come out when he's playing a role honestly.

Now, one might think that this aspect would be helpful in playing Batman. After all, Batman also has a sort of dual nature. Batman also harbors an unseen hurt deep within. But Batman is not a douche. No, not a douche at all. I fear that if Affleck has all four cylinders gunning, we're going to get some douche in the cape and cowl.

Another thing, and possibly the most important thing. Affleck has a sort of douchy smirk he gives. You see it in every movie he's ever done. He kind of swaggers and throws a douchy smirk, often to women, but to men sometimes, too. He's going to do this as Batman. You KNOW he's going to do this as Batman because he's always done it.

And in that moment, when he swaggers and gives his douchy smirk, all dressed up as this character I've loved my entire life, I will hate him more than any human being I've ever hated.

I don't understand how Hollywood executives playing with hundreds of millions of dollars can be so extraordinarily daft. This movie is a flop already, and they haven't even started shooting yet.  For god's sake, this makes casting Tom Cruise as Lestat a brilliant decision in comparison.

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