REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION FOLLIES

Okay, I have neither the stomach nor the time to really be keeping track of the Kerry hate-fest that's been going on in New York this past week, but I have noticed a few articles. For instance, Rudy Giuliani spent most of his speech blasting the Democratic nominee, even though, as this Washington Post article (courtesy of Eschaton) shows, many of his statements were outright distortions. I mean lies. Veep Cheney, earlier tonight, also blasted Kerry (surprise, surprise) and defended the invasion of Iraq, without mentioning those missing WMDs or non-existent connections to al-Qaeda. And evil, traitorous, Democrat-fascist, Georgia Senator Zell Miller, after some years of flirtation, finally took Darth Vader's hand and went over to the dark side of the Force--thank god he's retiring.

I think it's pretty clear that the reasons the Republicans are going after Kerry so intensely is because they have absolutely no record worth running on: slime and sleaze is their only hope.

Having said all that, there is a lighter side to this carnival macabre. Check out this story from the New York Press sent to me by my buddy Matt:

1001 THINGS TO HATE ABOUT THE CONVENTION

996. Osama bin Laden?s name will not be mentioned by a single speaker.

966. More NYC bike messenger featurettes on BBC News than usual.

949. Sean Hannity able to credibly claim this is his town.

925. New York Times guide for delegates includes address of "Friends" establishing shot.

898. Naked Cowboy won?t pose with Democrats.

895. Blue Man Group renamed White Man Group.

813. Abu Ghraib-themed nights at S&M club no longer funny.

774. Port security still a joke.

And so on. Click here for the rest. (And, okay, I admit I haven't read the whole thing--I mean, damn, it's a thousand statement long list! I'll get around to it, though; it's pretty damned funny.)

Also go check out This Modern World's take on the GOP choosing New York to host their convention:

CHENEY: Let's hold the Republican Convention in suburban Chicago, near the home of child molesting child killer John Wayne Gacey--to emphasize your concern for the youth of America!

BUSH: Are you crazy? That's a terrible idea!

Click here to see the comic strip in it's full, funny glory.

See? It's not so depressing that there's nothing funny about it...see?

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