THE VOICES I LOVE AND HATE

Well, I've been up all night working on a final wide-ranging paper for my voice class, so I don't have much time here at three in the morning to do much in the way of blogging. However, my paper did end up with a section that might be interesting to Real Art readers. I think it'll all be self-explanatory.

Voices I Love

Dr. $$$$$$$ $$$$$$ (a.k.a. “Brother $$$$$$$”): the preacher who baptized me, and recently retired pastor of the Southern Baptist church where I grew up. He has a sort of quiet voice, a tenor, with a lilting Virginia accent. Occasionally, when he gets all fire and brimstone, he has a marvelous booming voice, never yelling, but full of passion.

William F. Buckley, Jr.: the conservative political commentator I’ve always loved. He has a deep voice with an elitist sounding New England accent, a bit nasal, a bit throaty, with lazy diction.

Paul Robeson: the actor, singer, political activist. He had a well trained voice, deep and well supported, with perfect diction. He was a bass. I could listen to him read from the phone book.

Barbara Jordan: the Democratic Congresswoman from Houston who, as a member of the House Judiciary Committee during the Watergate scandal, asked, “What did the President know, and when did he know it?” Her voice was deep, with perfect diction. She was very careful with inflection and pitch.

Jack Kerouac: the beat poet and novelist. He had a clear voice, a tenor, with lots of upward inflection. He spoke very rhythmically, evoking the jazz musicians who inspired him. He had a vague New York City accent.

Voices I hate

Annoying Girl: with whom I went through the jury process for getting into upper level acting classes at the University of Texas. Obviously, I can’t remember her name, but I’ll never forget that voice. Shrill is probably the best way to describe it. It was high pitched and nasal. And loud. She also had a Brooklyn sounding dialect. God, she was like something out of a Seinfeld episode. Actually, she was a very sweet girl. It’s a shame that she was cursed with a voice like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Joyce $$$$$$$$$$$$: family friend when I was growing up, and onetime Den Mother for my Cub Scout den. Her voice is exceedingly loud, near monotone, with a tendency to fade in volume at the end of thoughts.

George H. W. Bush: the father of our current President. He has a somewhat nasal voice, which also tends to fade in terms of loudness as he nears the end of a thought. Bad diction, with a faux Texas accent.

Miles Davis: the immortal jazz trumpet player. Miles had a raspy voice, a near whisper, very quiet, with very little change in pitch, almost monotone. But put a trumpet in his mouth and he sounds like an angel.

Sylvester Stallone: the pandering, blockbuster movie actor. Sly is terminally nasal in his speaking, with an unidentifiable urban East coast dialect. Pretty bad diction.

So what do you think? Is this a fair analysis? What are your hated and loved voices?

God, I need some sleep.

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