FROM THE REAL ART SPORTS DESK
RON'S COLLEGE SPORTS NIGHTMARE SCENARIO

In basketball, that is, a sport which, admitedly, I don't really like that much, if only because I totally sucked at it when I was a kid. But very cool things are happening right now, cool things that have the potential to divide my scholastic loyalties.

From the Houston Chronicle:

Tigers surprise top-seeded Duke by
forcing Redick into 3-for-18 night

Tyrus Thomas high-stepped to half-court, turned to the LSU crowd and took a few swings with his fists.

Down goes Duke!

Down goes Duke!

LSU continued its magical ride through the NCAA Tournament on Thursday night, upsetting No. 1 seed Duke 62-54 in the semifinals of the Atlanta Regional at the Georgia Dome.

Click here for the rest.

Also from the Chronicle:

Paulino rescues Longhorns

In the season celebrating the 100-year anniversary of Texas basketball, Kenton Paulino etched his name in the history books.

Paulino drained a 3-pointer as time expired, sending the second-seeded Longhorns to a thrilling 74-71 victory over No. 6 West Virginia in the Atlanta Regional semifinals on Thursday night at the Georgia Dome.

As the shot swished through the basket, Paulino stood in a daze for a few seconds before he was mobbed by teammates. Game officials briefly reviewed the play, but the Longhorns already had begun to celebrate one of the biggest victories in school history.

Click here for the rest.

Okay, cool, Texas and LSU have both advanced to the NCAA Basketball Tournament quarterfinals. As longtime Real Art readers know, I got my two undergraduate degrees from Texas, so I'm a Longhorn from way back, but I currently attend LSU as a graduate student--it's been pretty difficult to not get caught up in Tiger mania here; this place is pretty spirited. So I should be really stoked about all this, right?

Here's why it's a nightmare scenario:

The immediate significance for the Longhorns: Texas is one victory away from its second trip to the Final Four in four years. The Longhorns (30-6) will play No. 4 seed LSU (26-8) at 3:40 p.m. Saturday at the Georgia Dome for the right to advance to the Final Four in Indianapolis.

Yes, that's right. The potential situation that had me slightly worried all football season long has come to pass during basketball season: Texas is playing LSU, and the stakes are extraordinarily high. They're playing for admittance to the Final Four. I want them both to win, but, of course, that's impossible--only one team will make it. So what am I supposed to do? Hope that everybody has a good time?

Nah. I figured this all out almost as quickly as I learned that I had gotten into grad school. Back in May of '04 when I announced here that I had gotten into LSU, and threw in an obligatory "Geaux Tigers" for good measure, my old buddy Matt, with whom I attended UT, reminded me of my heritage in comments:

Congratulations!

However, remember something. You are a Texas Longhorn. You do not cheer for crawfish-sucking, swamp-dwelling, Ricky-Williams trading, Gold-and-Purple clad foreigners!

Where's your head, man?!?

Momentarily shamed, I immediately understood what I'm about:

Matt is, of course, absolutely right. I'll go watch the Tigers play some good football next fall, but my blood is burnt orange, and that's the way it'll always be. I am, indeed, a Texas Longhorn, and I promise to not let weird, LSU mania go to my head during my tenure in the swamps.

Uh huh.

So you see, there really is no conflict, no nightmare scenario. I'm a Longhorn, damn it, always have been and always will be. I'm rooting for Texas tomorrow, and I hope to god the running 'Horns gore the intestines out of the Tigers, and leave their entrails all over the Georgia Dome, grossing out tens of thousands of hapless LSU fans. That's what I want to see.

Understand, however, I only want to see that when LSU plays Texas. Otherwise, geaux Tigers!

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